Getting to Know You

“It’s all about relationships.”  That almost became a mantra at a church revival a few years back.  Although we laughed at the time about hearing it over and over that week, it did make sense, and I often think of it.  That message is also the focus of Jeffrey Gitomer’s oldie but goodie, The Little Black Book of Connections.  In the book Gitomer explains that it is much more important to develop relationships (get to know them) with people with whom you want to conduct business than just to introduce one’s self and hand out a business card.  After you get to know the person, determine how you can add value to that person’s life.  Once you have established a true level of friendship, the referrals and business connections automatically flow. Gitomer does warn that one should be sincere in developing those relationships.  Most people, except possibly the most naïve, can spot a phony a mile away!

Likewise, Jan Vermeirin author of How to REALLY use LinkedIn, suggests that you should connect and make recommendations for others that you know and like.  She uses something like an analogy of a neighbor who needed her house painted.  If you knew and liked a reputable painter, you would likely make a referral.  So, the same rule of thumb should be applied to your referrals in LinkedIn. Be careful who you recommend because your credibility is “linked” to that referral.

A few years ago, a dear friend retired.  He found and sent out a Powerpoint presentation about the dash on one’s footstone to those of us with whom he had worked and developed strong working relationships.  The little dash separates the date of birth and the date of death.  The point of the presentation was that the dash represents the years of a person’s life and all the relationships that have been developed over that time period.  He was thanking us for being a part of his dash.  OK, it may be a bit sappy, but it was also true.  We have one life to live, on this Earth, regardless of whether we are working or not.  The good relationships that we build enrich our lives.  A side effect is that they may also be beneficial to us professionally.  So, be real and develop relationships that matter. 

I value your thoughts and comments.